Mourning the loss of a person of addiction or suicide?

My morning yesterday seemed to start as any other. I woke up and prayed, Father please let me say or do something today for someone that needs it, please use me. I was also off of work that day. It was about five minutes later that I had received a text from an upstairs neighbor that a young man that we knew was passed out on our porch step. They were talking about calling the cops but I felt that his Mom didn't deserve anymore turmoil and having the need for mercy so many times myself in my younger years, I wanted to extend that Grace to him and his Mother. I told her that I would take care of it.

I walked outside to see him sprawled on the concrete, laptop next to him, hat off of head laying where it must have rolled to. You know that you come from a dysfunctional background when something like seeing a man in this condition does not shock you and your reaction is only, get him inside and let him sleep it off. I was unable to wake him by myself enough to get him to walk inside so, I went down to get his Mother and his girlfriend. I talked to him as we were walking into the building and he reeked of alcohol and could barely speak or understand what we were saying but he was speaking and walking none the less. He was able to look at me as if to say, " who do you think you are", when I ordered him to get moving into the house after many attempts at being nice. He just seemed to be drunk, nothing more.  I stuck with them all until he was inside of his house with his Mom.

An hour later, my doorbell buzzer was ringing at a rapid pace. It was then that I saw the ambulance and fire trucks outside. My initial reaction was what is it now?! When I saw them descend down the steps towards their apartment, it hit me that what I thought was an over and done deal was not. Next were the loud screams and moans that I will never forget from his Mother. No, No. No.... I have to witnessed a few parents that have lost their children and it's always the same horrible whaling sound. The deep intense horrific moment that a parent realizes their baby is not coming back. The realization that they are unable to comfort and protect them any longer from their choices. Once I realized what had happened, I immediately began to take ownership of the situation in my mind. I was the one that did not call the cops right? Because of being around this kind of situation so often, I knew what I truly believed and what I would tell anyone else, God is in control not me. If there was an hour of difference that could have saved his life, God would have allowed things to progress in a different manner.  He would have done something like show a blog like this to me that would have been handy in my mind, to have a different choice to put in front of me as to how to proceed. No, this was his day of departing out of this world due to his choice. Sometimes God will save us from our poor choices but that is not always the case. I will never pretend to know why, I just know that what He allows, He will use for good and it will not be wasted.  It dawned on me that if I was feeling this way, the others and especially his Mother were feeling it as well. I have known this in the past because I have seen this so many times now and the outcome seems to be the same.  With loss, we want to look for  someone to blame and it typically starts with ourselves. I have consoled people from this viewpoint of knowing the standard behavior pattern but now I KNOW the feelings because I have suffered them first hand.

I am writing this message today in the hopes that this situation will be used to stop the pain and suffering of at least one more soul. To bring liberty to one that may have had the same situation happen to them and to tell you that I had prayed that God lead you here today, to tell you that:

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT AND THERE WAS NOTHING THAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE TO STOP THIS MOMENT FROM HAPPENING.

I don't know why God allowed this to be the outcome but I do know that your loved one would never want to see you carrying the burden of their poor choice on your shoulder as your mistake. Parents, you are just as human as the rest of us and you do not have super human powers to see the future or you would have been able to stop this. Only God has these powers and you are not God. More than likely you have talked to your children time and time again about their lifestyle and warned them of what the consequences could be. Unless you are ready to get the chains out and lock them in a closet for the rest of their lives, there is nothing more you can do when someone makes their own choices despite your wisdom that you have tried to share with them. Your regrets are now wasted time and will not bring your loved one back. God is in control, not you and I am so sorry that you are hurting. May God bless you with peace and wisdom today and always.

To the person reading this that is making poor choices despite the wisdom that has been given to you, WAKE UP and realize that your choice could rip the heart out of the very people that you love. The end result could be you leaving them sitting in a sea of sadness that seems to be never ending. Is this what you want for them? Get help, reach out and if you feel that you have no one to reach out to, grab someone until you find the one that will help you. Someone will help. It's not a cool, cute or fun game that you are playing, it's real and it's final and it is forever. Whatever you are trying to cover up with your addiction or whatever problems you are trying to escape by suicide know that you are dumping all of that onto your loved ones. Take that pain inside of you and turn it into love for them and get help. Change your mind before it is too late. May God bless you with peace and wisdom today and always.

Finally, to those that find someone passed out like this, never assume it was just alcohol and call for help, don't wait. Warn your friends now that you will call the ambulance if you find them in this condition. I will never know if I could have changed this situation by calling for help. That is something that I will have to live with but I have learned a lesson from this that I intend to take with me. I fall on the Grace of God knowing that I made the decision that I thought was best to make and that is all that we can ever do. Learn from my lesson. this message is for you to take with you and never forget. May God bless us with peace and wisdom today and always.

Please pause and say a prayer for this family for they are hurting so very badly over this loss. Please say a prayer for everyone involved to find peace with whatever role they feel they have played in this tragic loss.

U.S Postal Service, they did listen !

Way to go America!!

If you are unsure what I am talking about, last year their advertisement included other holidays but left out Christmas. When I called to complain, they had said that they had received several complaints and the girl that I was speaking with on the phone told me that she agreed. Notice how the entire word Christmas is there! GREAT JOB EVERYONE AND THANK YOU TO OUR POSTAL SERVICE FOR HEARING US!

Pure Love

I was watching a video of a girl scratching the head of a baby horse. The horse was loving life and leaning in for more. Then I started thinking about how we love on animals. We pour so much love and attention into them with our hands. Back rubs, scratches, hugs. Why do we continue to do it when they can never give those things back? Lack of expectation. We don't expect anything like that from them so, when we do it, it is pure love flowing through us. They also don't have mouths to speak words that we may choose to not forgive and instead hold bitterness and resentment inside that makes it impossible for love to flow.

If we want to become more lovable, we could learn from a dog and let go of expectations, no harsh words, loyalty,forgiveness, protect, obedience. 

Dog spelled backward is God. 

ADDED 12-10-14  I have a Charles Stanley devotional that I read every day. Sometimes, I will read on to the next day as well. Today was one of those days and God used it yet again to confirm the message He had given to me yesterday. These are things to watch and listen for when He puts something on our hearts.. The little additonal confirmations that tell you that you are on the right track.. He will speak through friends, songs, nature, movies, etc. We just need to keep our ears and eyes tuned into His channel. 

If you would like to receive His devotional by physical mail, it is free and you can order it here http://www.intouch.org/magazine/daily-devotion#.VIg8pSvF-So

A Sad face is good for your heart?

Ecc 7:3 Sorrow is better than laughter because a sad face is good for the heart.

Ecc 7:4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

I feel a meaning of this verse could be that sometimes, we have to re-evaluate our lives, take a look at things or people that could be harming us from a spiritual stand point and weed out the ones that are a lot of fun or seemingly of comfort to us but not bringing spiritual fruit about.   

There are many forms of entertainment  in our world, that bring pleasure to the flesh but do not serve our higher purpose in life and often times, lead us down a path of destruction. We do need to be a light in a dark place but we have to be sure that we are not dimming our light,  rather than lighting the heart of others. For an example,  if you love an activity and the people involved in that activity and feel like you bring Christ to them, this is a great thing unless you are opening a foothold for satan in the process of  taking part in that activity. This could be happening in many ways but I will use the example of the bar scene. It seems like a great place to witness to those in darkness however, it is not  safe place for a Christian to frequent and especially if you are drinking. There are  many temptations that you will be faced with,  (sexual being one of the strongest) and as secure as you may feel you are in Christ, you will more than likely fail.  We are made of flesh and the fleshly desires have a way of appearing to be more fulfilling than those of the Spirit when we are not in our right minds, let alone  when we are in our right minds.  They call alcohol, "spirits"  for a reason. It quiets your inner voice of the Holy Spirit and can replace it with an entirely different self-driven ego  flesh Spirit that will do what it wants when it wants and how it wants to do it and that is not love for others, that is love of self. I am not saying that having a couple of beers or a glass of wine is a sin, I am saying that we need to be mindful of when we start feeling the spirit of drunkenness creeping over us. If you are choosing this path of ministry today, I challenge you to examine your heart and be sure that it is truly the way that God has called you to minister or if it may be a self-driven avenue of pleasure, that is poisoning your life as well as the lives of those around you.

The only way to shine our lights for Christ, is if how we  are speaking and behaving is a part of His light. Anything that goes against the Word of God is definitely  not a part of His light. While we do not need the Bible for salvation, it is the rule of thumb that guides us and will let us know if we have gotten off track. It will attune you to the voice of the Holy Spirit inside of you. 

There is a mourning process that takes place when we have to let go of any person or activity that we once held so dear to our hearts. The outcome however is that you will re-focused on the things that the Lord has planned for you and that will bring the purest form of joy and love  to yourself and to others. That is a true ministry. 

Ecc 7:3 Sorrow is better than laughter because a sad face is good for the heart.
Ecc 7:4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

Another meaning of the verse I feel  is that when we  love someone, we mourn the loss of them .  There is an intense pain that comes of this but it shows that we truly loved and if we truly love, it shows that we do have more than a heart of stone and fear. 

Is it any wonder why Jesus was a carpenter?

What Carpenters DoAbout this section

Carpenters work with many different types of tools.

Carpenters construct and repair building frameworks and structures—such as stairways, doorframes, partitions, and rafters—made from wood and other materials. They also may install kitchen cabinets, siding, and drywall.

Duties

Carpenters typically do the following:

• Follow blueprints and building plans to meet the needs of clients
• Install structures and fixtures, such as windows and molding
• Measure, cut, or shape wood, plastic, and other materials
• Construct building frameworks, including walls, floors, and doorframes
• Help erect, level, and install building framework with the aid of rigging hardware and cranes
• Inspect and replace damaged framework or other structures and fixtures
• Instruct and direct laborers and other construction helpers

Carpenters are one of the most versatile construction occupations, with workers usually doing many different tasks. For example, some carpenters insulate office buildings; others install drywall or kitchen cabinets in homes. Those who help construct tall buildings or bridges often install the wooden concrete forms for cement footings or pillars. Some carpenters erect shoring and scaffolding for buildings.

Carpenters use many different hand and power tools to cut and shape wood, plastic, fiberglass, or drywall. They commonly use hand tools, including squares, levels, and chisels, as well as many power tools, such as sanders, circular saws, nail guns, and welding machines. Carpenters fasten materials together with nails, screws, staples, and adhesives, and do a final check of their work to ensure accuracy. They use a tape measure on nearly every project because proper measuring increases productivity, reduces waste, and ensures that the pieces being cut are the proper size.

The following are examples of types of carpenters:

Residential carpenters typically specialize in new-home, townhome, and condominium building and remodeling. As part of a single job, they might build and set forms for footings, walls, and slabs, and frame and finish exterior walls, roofs, and decks. They also frame interior walls, build stairs, and install drywall, crown molding, doors, and cabinets. In addition, residential carpenters may tile floors and lay wood floors and carpet. Fully trained construction carpenters can easily switch from new-home building to remodeling.

Commercial carpenters typically remodel and help build commercial office buildings, hospitals, hotels, schools, and shopping malls. Some specialize in working with light-gauge and load-bearing steel framing for interior partitions, exterior framing, and curtain wall construction. Others specialize in working with concrete forming systems and finishing interior and exterior walls, partitions, and ceilings. Most commercial carpenters perform many of the same tasks as residential carpenters.

Industrial carpenters typically work in civil and industrial settings, where they build scaffolding and create and set forms for pouring concrete. Some industrial carpenters build tunnel bracing or partitions in underground passageways and mines to control the circulation of air to worksites. Others build concrete forms for tunnels, bridges, dams, power plants, or sewer construction projects.

Understanding- having insight or good judgment

JOHN 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

A definition of understanding is sympathy. A def of sympathy is compassion. A def of compassion is mercy. 

We cannot come from a place of understanding unless we are able to come from a place of Mercy. We cannot come from a place of Mercy till we love others as we love ourselves. 

When King Solomon asked for an understanding heart to govern the people, God called it Wisdom.


1 KINGS 3:9-3:12
Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?And the speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing.And God said unto him, Because thou hast asked this thing, and hast not asked for thyself long life; neither hast asked riches for thyself, nor hast asked the life of thine enemies; but hast asked for thyself understanding to discern judgment;Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee.

In John 7 (below), When Jesus healed a man on the Sabbath ( a day to rest from works), the teachers of the law were furious as usual that He was not following the law and rather had mercy on the man and healed him regardless of the day. Jesus is our Sabbath, He is our rest from our works. We rest from our own works and turn everything over to Jesus when we believe that He died on the Cross for our Sins and His Spirit comes to live in us. He knows that we  are unable to follow the Law and that is why Jesus died on the Cross for us. He came to make another way. We are made whole when we enter His rest and in that way, we rest from our works. It does not mean that we no longer step out and do things that are Christ-like, it just means that it no longer feels like work because we do  it out of love rather than obligation. We need to let go of judgement based off a heart bent on the law and judge according to the heart of mercy that Christ has given to us. 

JOHN 7:14-24 

Now about the midst of the feast Jesus went up into the temple, and taught.And the Jews marvelled, saying, How knoweth this man letters, having never learned?Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me.If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.He that speaketh of himself seeketh his own glory: but he that seeketh his glory that sent him, the same is true, and no unrighteousness is in him.Did not Moses give you the law, and yet none of you keepeth the law? Why go ye about to kill me?The people answered and said, Thou hast a devil: who goeth about to kill thee?Jesus answered and said unto them, I have done one work, and ye all marvel.Moses therefore gave unto you circumcision; (not because it is of Moses, but of the fathers;) and ye on the sabbath day circumcise a man.
If a man on the sabbath day receive circumcision, that the law of Moses should not be broken; are ye angry at me, because I have made a man every whit whole on the sabbath day?Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

MAT 22:36-40
Master, which is the great commandment in the law?Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind."This is the great and foremost commandment.And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

John 6:29King James Version (KJV)

29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.

Matthew 9:13King James Version (KJV)

13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

un·der·stand·ing

ˌəndərˈstandiNG/

noun

1. 1.

   the ability to understand something; comprehension.

   "foreign visitors with little understanding of English"

   synonyms:

   comprehension, apprehension, grasp, mastery, appreciation,assimilation, absorption; More

adjective

1. 1.

   sympathetically aware of other people's feelings; tolerant and forgiving.

   "people expect their doctor to be understanding"

   synonyms:

   compassionate, sympathetic, sensitive, considerate, tender, kind,thoughtful, tolerant, patient, forbearing, lenient, merciful, forgiving,humane; More

2. 2.

   archaichaving insight or good judgment.

Hebrews 3 King James Version (KJV)

3 Wherefore, holy brethren, partakers of the heavenly calling, consider the Apostle and High Priest of our profession, Christ Jesus;

2 Who was faithful to him that appointed him, as also Moses was faithful in all his house.

3 For this man was counted worthy of more glory than Moses, inasmuch as he who hath builded the house hath more honour than the house.

4 For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God.

5 And Moses verily was faithful in all his house, as a servant, for a testimony of those things which were to be spoken after;

6 But Christ as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end.

7 Wherefore (as the Holy Ghost saith, To day if ye will hear his voice,

8 Harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness:

9 When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my works forty years.

10 Wherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do alway err in their heart; and they have not known my ways.

11 So I sware in my wrath, They shall not enter into my rest.)

12 Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.

13 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

14 For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end;

15 While it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation.

16 For some, when they had heard, did provoke: howbeit not all that came out of Egypt by Moses.

17 But with whom was he grieved forty years? was it not with them that had sinned, whose carcases fell in the wilderness?

18 And to whom sware he that they should not enter into his rest, but to them that believed not?

19 So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief.

King James Version (KJV)

by Public Domain

HEB 4:3-
For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.And in this place again, If they shall enter into my rest.Seeing therefore it remaineth that some must enter therein, and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief:Again, he limiteth a certain day, saying in David, To day, after so long a time; as it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.For if Joshua had given them rest, then would he not afterward have spoken of another day.There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things arenaked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.For every high priest taken from among men is ordained for men in thingspertaining to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins:Who can have compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are out of the way; for that he himself also is compassed with infirmity.And by reason hereof he ought, as for the people, so also for himself, to offer for sins.And no man taketh this honour unto himself, but he that is called of God, aswas Aaron.So also Christ glorified not himself to be made an high priest; but he that said unto him, Thou art my Son, to day have I begotten thee.As he saith also in another place, Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;Called of God an high priest after the order of MelchisedecOf whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing.For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and eviTherefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God,Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.And this will we do, if God permit.For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God:

Love and Smiles

My Grandma used to never smile for pictures. She said it was because she looked ugly in them. This message came from years of mistreatment and harsh words from broken people in her family, that she chose to believe about herself. I continually told her how beautiful she was and over time look what happened. It's amazing how much love can squelch the lies and heal a heart Let's take the time today to spread His love to someone who is in need of it. It's most likely the one that we would most of the time, rather avoid.. I love you Grandma and I know how you must shine and glow in Heaven. No more tears, no more pain.