MY LORD MY LOVE

1Pe 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1Pe 1:4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade kept in heaven for you,
1Pe 1:5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.
1Pe 1:6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
1Pe 1:7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1Pe 1:8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,
1Pe 1:9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
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This verse has really touched my heart tonight. It is so very true that God is near to the broken-hearted. It was only through a broken-heart, that God was able to fill mine. For a couple of years I prayed, God heal my Faith, God let me feel something in my heart again. Let me feel that inexpressible joy that "born agains", speak of. There is something about the pain that makes you pay more attention to God. You focus on Him because He is all that you have left. No more distraction, just you and Him. The very things that I prayed for could only happen through daily conversations with God,reading His Word, and yes extreme pain. I am a person that has always been held hostage to a rough exterior, an armor that I had built around my heart. You won't hurt me, I am stronger than that. I am independent and I don't need anyone. If I remove myself first, they won't be able to abandon me. As a child, I was left to myself a lot. I know my parents love and care about me, but they just did not have time for me. I feel this gave me an internal message, a tape that kept playing over and over, you are not worth it, you are dispensable, and alone. I was born and raised Catholic, but no one ever taught me how to have a real realtionship with God so that I could hear His encouraging Words and BELIEVE His Promises, where fallible humans failed to deliver, I could have rested in God's feelings towards me, and the promises He had made to me. I feel this sets us up to attract the people who will on some level, do the same things to us, that allow us to revisit that same pain all over again. In some way, that pain feels normal, and we may not even recognize it as pain at first, or the unacceptable treatment of something as valuable as our heart, as anything more than usual behavior. Perhaps it is because they themselves feel the same way about themselves. Like attracts like in most cases. Historically, when suffering a broken heart, I would just find another distraction, or someone that I thought felt the same about me. This time, I chose to lean on God, and what He has in store for me on His time, rather than what I want and on my time. It has been a struggle in some cases, but I am at a turning point. I have been walking in obedience to the Lord, and this has been building my Faith. The more I obey,the more I see His promises fulfilled before my eyes. I am not saying that I have seen the fruit of my obedience in all cases, but enough. I know that somehow in all of the pain, my heart has warmed and my Faith is healing every day. I have an overwhelming desire to love on the unlovable. I have always had a compassionate heart, but nothing like this. There are times when all I can do is cry tears of Joy, and I don't know why besides an inner knowing that God is amazing, and has a plan for me. That someone as big as Him thinks about someone as little as me, and loves what He sees. He is showing me more and more everyday what a special person I am. He has instilled qualities in me that are quite simply hard to come by in this world. I am starting to see who I am in His eyes, and that person is beautiful. Now that I see this in myself, I am able to see it in others, and love them warts and all, as Christ loves me. He has trusted me with many of His plans that He has revealed to me. All I needed to bring to Him was my willing broken heart. When I think of the many ways that He has blessed me and brought me to where I am today, and where I will be tommorrow, all I can say is, THANK YOU FATHER THANK YOU!! Thank you for the pain, for it brought me to you and is making me whole. Thank you for Joy! Thank you for my salvation!Thank you so much for my beautiful son, and friends who have stuck by me through it all. Thank you for my Family. I was so upset about not having someone special to spend my bday with, and I am unable to keep my calendar straight still even though my bday was the 23rd, because God has made friends, and family literally crawl out of the woodwork, and want to do something special for me.. I think the last plans that I have are next Wed, but who knows!!! God you really worked overtime to show me I am loved, THANK YOU! Thank you for eyes that see, and ears that hear! God has always been here for me. He has carried me along through every tough time in my life, and has always blessed me by putting the right people in my path at the right time, and removing, even if temporarily what was not bearing fruit. He is so amazing and I love Him so much!! I was created to God from birth. A prophetic word that was spoken over me by a dear friends very young son a couple of years. I now BELIEVE that with all of my heart.

Now I encourage you to scroll back up and read the verse over, after hearing my story. This stuff is totally for real. It is not just words. I know with my innermost being how true it is, and want you to experience it too. GOD IS MY ROCK AND HE ROCKS!

As Will Ferrell says in Elf, "I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pd0VBm8gU5o